Why “Yes AND” is the Antidote to Toxic Positivity in the Workplace
Alex Lefeld at Central Ohio Association of Talent Development Conference
September 2024
Imagine you get a last-minute meeting invite from your boss, labeled as urgent. You think, “No worries, my boss always says we’re like family here. With all the work we do, it’s always good vibes, so surely nothing could go wrong.” But when you join the call, your boss, in an overly positive tone, announces that funding has been cut for your main project—the one you’ve been working on for the last three years. Now, they need you to shift all your focus to a new project.
They emphasize that because you're part of a small organization, everyone needs to step up and ensure that their work directly contributes to the company's revenue. And of course, they remind you, “Remember, we’re like a family here.”
How would you respond in this situation? Would you feel motivated to jump into the new project? Or would you be tempted to submit your resignation? Most people likely fall somewhere between these extremes.
This scenario is a classic example of toxic positivity in the workplace. It’s the forced optimism that pressures employees to say “yes” to everything without acknowledging the reality of their workload or emotions. When you constantly feel pressured to say “yes” to things you wouldn’t normally agree to, it creates an unhealthy dynamic, leading to feelings of guilt, burnout, and stagnation in your role. But there’s a way to break this cycle—through the powerful mindset of ‘Yes And.’
The Trap of Saying "Yes"
Now, you might be thinking, “But isn’t improv all about saying yes?” That’s where the ‘AND’ in ‘YES AND’ becomes vital. It’s more than just agreeing—it’s about intentionality.
In improv, saying “yes” is important, but it’s done with clear purpose. The intention of “yes and” is to support others, elevate their ideas, and build confidence in their contributions. It ensures that everyone is aligned and that there’s clarity in the direction the scene is heading. Simply saying “yes” to everything would lead to a disjointed performance—a chaotic jumble of ideas with no coherent through-line, much like in a workplace that demands blind compliance.
If I were forced to say “yes” to every suggestion on stage, I’d find myself in uncomfortable situations—whether it’s a topic I don’t want to explore, a character I’m uncomfortable playing, or physical actions I don’t want to take part in. While it might seem that I’m supposed to say “yes” all the time, boundaries matter, even in creativity.
Setting Boundaries with ‘Yes And’
In our improv shows, classes, and workshops, we set clear boundaries at the beginning. We discuss consent regarding the types of topics we’ll explore and how physically engaged we’ll be with one another. In our corporate workshops, for example, we focus on appropriate professional content and interactions, such as handshakes or a supportive hand on the shoulder. By setting these boundaries, we remove the pressure of having to say “yes” to everything and create a safe environment for everyone to collaborate effectively.
Let’s circle back to the workplace scenario. In many companies, there are no clear boundaries or levels of consent on how to say “yes.” You’re expected to agree simply because the organization fosters a culture of toxic positivity. This can lead to people taking advantage of the system, forcing others into agreeing to things they wouldn’t normally consent to. Over time, this constant “yes” culture breeds guilt, burnout, and the exhaustion of overworking yourself because “that’s just the way things are.”
The 'Yes And' Solution
If you work in an environment like this, it’s time to shift from a singular “yes” mindset to a ‘Yes And’ mindset. “Yes And” allows you to protect your boundaries while still being collaborative. For example, when faced with a new project, you could say, “Yes, I understand I need to shift my focus to this new project, and I’d like to know what the onboarding timeline looks like and what resources are available to help me support the team effectively.”
This ‘And’ opens the door for further discussion and allows you to engage thoughtfully, rather than simply submitting to the status quo of always saying “yes.” It gives you room to ask questions, seek clarity, and align your workload with the company’s needs in a healthier way.
Even if you can’t change your workplace’s overall culture, a mindset shift can make a difference. Moving away from constantly seeking “yeses” and instead focusing on giving meaningful “yeses” can create a more supportive environment. When everyone is intentional with their agreements, employees feel more valued, trust among colleagues builds, and the “yeses” carry more weight.
Fostering Curiosity and Support
Rather than forcing people to comply, the focus shifts to expanding on ideas and fostering curiosity in conversations. When you adopt the ‘Yes And’ approach, it’s no longer about forcing a toxic positivity where you feel compelled to agree to everything. It’s about creating an environment where ideas are heard, boundaries are respected, and employees feel empowered to ask questions and offer input. This is the true antidote to toxic positivity in the workplace.
By shifting from "yes" to "yes and," you’re not just agreeing—you’re taking the opportunity to explore, expand, and contribute in a meaningful way.
In a world full of toxic positivity, shifting your mindset to "yes and" can make all the difference. Next time you face a challenge at work, try embracing the "and" to set boundaries and foster collaboration.
Ready to see how this approach can transform your team? Join one of our WitWorks workshops and learn how to put "yes and" into action! Connect with us today!
